The Magic Pizza

by Ali Christie

A frozen pizza escapes fae the supermarket and goes on the run. But how far will it get? Will the polis catch it? Poet Ali Christie and actor Katya Searle tell us all aboot the daring escape of this cheese and tomatae fugitive.

  The Magic Pizza - the poem

by Ali Christie

Eh’m a pizza, a magic pizza,
Bein stuck in the freezer’s a scunner –
So Eh grew twa legs an oor ago
An fae Tesco Eh did a runner.

Eh’m a pizza, a gaun-ma-dinger pizza,
Eh’m skitin doon the street,
An giein a muckle cheesy grin
Tae the dumfoonert fowk Eh meet.

Eh’m a pizza, a please-mehsel pizza,
Eh can dae whitiver Eh like –
Fleh wi cheese and tomatae wings
Or gae dancin doon a dyke.

Eh’m a pizza, an oan-the-rin pizza,
The polis are efter me –
But they needna think that ony o them
Are haein me fur thir tea.

Eh’m a pizza, a thumb-yir-neb pizza,
Eh’ll tell them tae git loast.
Oh jings – Eh’m a puggilt pizza noo –
Eh’ve stertit tae defroast!