The pizzenous pet shop

by Gregor Steele

Gregor Steele’s mingin menagerie described in honksome detail by actor Katya Searle.

  The Pizzenous Pet Shop - the poem

by Gregor Steele

The Clarty Cat fae the Western Isles,
Luves tae dive aroon in cundies,
Twice a day fae Mon tae Sat,
But no at aw on Sundays.

The Boakin Budgie flees again!
This time it’s had nae seed,
It’s stuffed itsel wi fruit an cream,
Tae blaw chunks on yir heid.

The Slevverin Slug is sleekit,
It plans oot its attack,
It slides up yir shirt tae the collar,
An dribbles doon yir back.

The Floater Frog’s a minger,
Fowk gie it dug’s abuse,
It sneaks up an sooks yir ginger,
An leaves bits in the juice.

The Honkin Hurcheon’s hummin,
Its reek ye cannae thole,
It bides beside the cludgie,
An helps clean oot the bowl.